Mokuba's First Sleepover
by Yami Roojii
Summary: “Pleeease” Mokuba whined, sticking his bottom lip out. “No” Seto responded with obvious annoyance...Half an hour later Mokuba was calling Yugi, Yami, Joey, Tea, Tristan, Duke, Yami Bakura, Bakura and Marik.
1. Chapter 1

I've been working on this one for quite a while. I think it's going to be a long one (for me). I warn you it starts to get a bit strange after the first few chapters.

**We spend too long on this one! I want to write more horror. Gore, gore, GORE! **

…Sorry.

* * *

"Pleeease" Mokuba whined, sticking his bottom lip out.

"No" Seto responded with obvious annoyance.

"Please Seto, please let them stay over, I'm lonely" Mokuba continued, adding puppy dog eyes to the now quivering lip.

"No Mokuba, I am not having the geek squad running around my house!" Seto snapped.

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Pleeeeease"

"NO!".

Half an hour later Mokuba was calling Yugi, Yami, Joey, Tea, Tristan, Duke, Yami Bakura, Bakura and Marik and inviting them to stay over. He always got what he wanted in the end.

Three days later everyone had shown up and they were sitting in Mokuba's room not doing much.

"Ooh I know" Mokuba suddenly said, jumping up from the bed "I'll get my hamster out and we can all play with him".

"Oh I love hamsters, they're so small and sweet" Tea chirped.

"Yeah and they taste good too" YB added, earning himself a clout round the head from Bakura.

"This" Mokuba said proudly, holding up a small white hamster "is Mungo".

"Mungo, what da hell kinda name is Mungo?" Joey said, pulling a face.

"It's Celtic, it means 'lovable'" Mokuba replied, sticking his bottom lip out "Don't you like it?".

"I like it" Tea said enthusiastically "it's adorable".

Everyone had a go at holding Mungo, YB wasn't allowed to for very long at Mokuba's request. Half an hour later and everyone was running out of pet stories.

"Can I hold Mungo again?" Tea asked.

"Sure" Mokuba said "Who's got him?", as he looked around the group his face fell because it was obvious that no one had him. "Mungo, Mungo, where is he!" Mokuba screeched "Who had him last? TELL ME" he yelled grabbing the front of Duke's shirt.

"Wow, I'm sorry Mokuba I don't know where your rat went" Duke said, putting his hands up.

"HE'S A HAMSTER AND HE'S MY BEST FRIEND NOW WHERE IS HE!" Mokuba roared.

"Ok Mokuba calm down, we'll find him he's probably still in the room right?" Yugi said soothingly. They all turned to look at Mokuba's bedroom door which was hanging wide open. "Or not" Yugi continued meekly.

Mokuba sprang up off the bed and ran into the corridor yelling Mungo at the top of his voice.

"Yeah like a hamster's gonna answer to its name" Tristan muttered as he followed Mokuba with the others.

Meanwhile in the kitchen Seto was relaxing with a big bowl of chocolate ice cream. After a few bites he felt it needed some form of topping so he got up and opened a cupboard. He didn't look as he put his hand in because he had lived with this cupboard for nearly two years and trusted it completely. He didn't see the small white hamster squatting between the tomato ketchup and the low fat salad cream. He didn't see as it lunged for his fingers. He certainly felt it.

Screaming like a little girl he threw Mungo across the room. Poor little Mungo landed in the open microwave and lay on his back, possibly concussed. Seto stood panting and staring. He'd never wanted Mokuba to have that stupid creature, he hated hamsters, always had. They frightened him for no logical reason, which made him angry at himself and at the entire hamster race.

Warily he advanced on the microwave. He had no idea what to do so he slammed the microwave door shut. "I don't know how the hell you got out but I'll make sure you never do again you fluffy little demon!" and with that he set the microwave timer to five minutes. He then sat down to finish his ice cream.

"Seto" Mokuba yelled running into the kitchen "Please don't be angry but Mungo got out and I can't find him, you have to help me look".

"Mokuba I don't have to do anything" Seto replied, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms "Besides you'd be better off using Wheeler, dogs are good at this kind of thing".

"Grr shut up Kaiba or I'll relocate your insides to da outside" Joey growled.

"Seto please I'm sorry, I promise if you help me I'll make sure he never gets out again" Mokuba pleaded.

"Uhh, Moky, I doubt you'll find him" Seto said looking shifty "This is a big house, I know, I'll buy you another one ok?"

"No Seto I want Mungo!" Mokuba wailed.

During this argument Yami Bakura had wandered over to the microwave to see what was cooking, when he saw he burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. Startled, Mokuba turned to face him.

"What are you laughing at" he asked, completely confused. By this time Yami Bakura was struggling to breathe, "Hahaha…h…h…hamster" he managed to gasp through the laughter "Hahahahahaaaa…micro…w…wave...hahaaaha", now completely unable to breathe he collapsed on the floor and ceased to move.

More confused than ever Mokuba walked over to the microwave. As he approached the timer hit zero and the microwave pinged loudly. He screamed when he saw what was inside. "SETO!" he sobbed frantically "What is Mungo doing in the microwave!"

"I don't know Moky" Seto replied with a completely straight face "Maybe he committed suicide, did you treat him well?".

Mokuba just stared at Seto in disbelief. "Are you seriously suggesting" he said slowly and angrily "That a hamster opened a microwave door, climbed in, shut the door and then set the timer to slowly cook himself to death".

"Um, uh…can I interest you in a new hamster?" Seto said hopefully.

During the outburst that followed the others decided it was probably best that they went home. They could still hear Mokuba screaming half way down the drive. Though he would deny it later Joey was seen to be running from the house.

* * *

Please review. I need the reviews. It's the only contact I have with the outside world.

**Yes, review! Also, let me know if you want some gore. If I have some support then my baka hikari might let me write some. **


	2. Chapter 2

One week later everyone was showing up for Mokuba's second attempt at a sleepover.

They had all been promised that the argument was well and truly over. Mokuba had been calmed with the promise that he could have a puppy to replace Mungo. So, again, they were all sitting in Mokuba's room making light conversation.

"How about some board games?" Tristan suggested. After Yami had won six out of the six games they had played an hour and a half later Mokuba asked what they had all been up to since the first 'sleepover'.

"Ooh, ooh, I starred in a dance show with my dance group" Tea volunteered excitedly "I played Belle in a totally musical version of Beauty and the Beast, it was so much fun and the dress I was wearing was just gorgeous! Oh and the producer said I had a really nice singing voice but I'm not sure if he really meant that or if he was hitting on me, oh well, it was still fun and I can't wait to start work on the next production, oh I wish you guys had been there!"

No one said anything as she finished breathlessly; she starred in a musical nearly every month so this was nothing new and not really very interesting.

"Uh…anyone else?" Mokuba asked with a weak smile.

"I got a cat" Marik said finally. "Ooh I love cats" Mokuba said happily

"what's it called?"

"Scuzbucket" Marik said proudly.

"Scuzbucket? That's even worse dan flippin' Mungo!" Joey said shaking his head "I don't understand why people have to give dere pet such weird names dese days".

"I like it" Yami Bakura said whilst trying to melt one of the monopoly houses with his lighter.

Bakura gently took the objects away from him then tried to smother him with a pillow.

Once Yami Bakura had stopped kicking Marik continued. "He's a little black Persian cat and he has green eyes which are permanently crossed, I got him from one of those cat shelter places and he's just so adorable! Look…" And he pulled Scuzbucket out of his backpack.

As soon as he was free Scuzbucket lunged at Yami and tried to claw his eyes out.

"Marik!" Mokuba yelled "why the hell did you bring your cat!"

"I cuddle him in bed" Marik replied.

"Well ok, but you can't let him near Seto, he's severely allergic to cats" Mokuba said looking at Scuzbucket warily while Yami tried to protect his royal face.

Joey leaned towards Mokuba and put his arm around the younger boys shoulders "How allergic is your brother" he asked with apparent innocence.

"Really allergic, he swells up like a balloon and swears spontaneously" Mokuba replied with obvious ignorance.

Joey started rubbing his hands together and giggling maliciously under his breath.

Yami, fed up with Scuzbuckets unending attack on his person, picked him up and threw him across the room.

Marik screamed as his precious cat flew through the air.

Yami Bakura screamed even louder as the cat landed on his precious head. Quick as lightning Yami Bakura whipped out his backup lighter and tried to set Scuzbucket alight.

Fortunately for Scuzbucket Marik could also move pretty fast and pulled him out of harms way just in time. Again Bakura confiscated his Yami's lighter then subdued him with a pillow.

"Hey Marik" Joey said arranging his face into the most innocent expression he could "Can I borrow Scuzbucket for a little while?"

"Why?" Marik asked, cocking his head.

"Uh I just need 'im for a little experiment" Joey replied

"I don't know, I'm not too happy about you experimenting on my cat" Marik said with concern.

"I promise he won't get hurt, please Marik" Joey pleaded.

"Oh all right, but I want him back before I go to bed, I can't sleep without him now" Marik said in defeat.

Grinning his thanks Joey pulled Scuzbucket off Yami and carried him downstairs.

"Kaiba, oh Kaiba" he called as he walked towards the kitchen.

"What!" a very irritable Seto yelled in response.

Feeling cheerful Joey entered the kitchen to face Seto, Scuzbucket hidden behind his back.

"What?" Seto repeated, his face turning slightly pink and his nose starting to run. Joey grinned evilly.

"Think fast!" he yelled and threw Scuzbucket directly at Seto.

Without looking at what was flying towards him Seto raised his hands and caught. When he did see Scuzbucket his eyes widened in alarm and he sneezed violently, dropping the cat to the floor.

"Wheeler you jerk!" he wheezed, his face turning a nasty shade of red. All Joey could do was point and laugh. By now Seto's eyes had swollen so much that he could barely keep them open and he was sneezing so much that he could hardly breathe.

Finally losing his struggle to drag in enough breath to stay conscious he slumped to the floor, twitching occasionally.

Crying with laughter Joey took Scuzbucket back upstairs, taking the time to rub him all over the clothes in Seto's wardrobe on the way up.

"Hey guys" Tea said as Joey walked back into the room and dropped Scuzbucket onto Yami's head, "I only just noticed that Duke isn't here, where is he?".

"He's in hospital actually" Tristan said smiling at the thought.

"What! How? Is he ok?" Yugi squeaked in concern.

"Oh he's fine" Tristan replied, waving his hand "He just broke a couple of bones jumping off the school building last night".

"Why were you at da school last night and why da hell would Duke jump offa da buildin'" Joey asked in disbelief.

"Well, we were there because Duke left his trainers in his locker and he wanted them for this sleepover" Tristan began "We got the trainers fine but on the way out we almost ran into that creepy night janitor, we only escaped by going up to the roof. Unfortunately Duke fell over and the janitor dude heard him swearing. We panicked and ran towards the edge. I hid behind the chimneys but Duke, being as thick as he is, jumped right off the edge and landed in a bloody heap in the car park three floors down"

"Oh my god!" Tea gasped in horror.

"What did he break?" Bakura asked in a quiet voice.

"Yeah what did he break, is he going to die, please tell me he's going to die!" Yami Bakura ranted, he would have said more but Bakura cut off his air with a well-placed karate chop.

"Er I think he broke his arm and…"Tristan said, screwing his face up in concentration "and his back" he finished triumphantly.

"Oh my god!" Tea repeated putting her hands to her face to enhance her look of horror.

"Please tell me dice boy is going to die" Yami Bakura rasped with the first breath he managed to draw after the chop.

Fed up with his Yami's continued rudeness Bakura punched him in the face and then wrapped almost a whole role of Selotape around his mouth, once he had done that he put him in his sleeping bag and pulled the strings tight so that he couldn't get out or take the tape off his face.

A couple of hours later Mokuba suggested that they go downstairs for something to eat. Entering the kitchen they saw what appeared to be Seto asleep at the table.

On closer inspection it was found that his face was submerged in a bowl of strawberry ice cream. He must have been like this for quite a while because he wasn't breathing and when Tristan pulled him out his face was blue.

"Oh my god he's dead!" Tea cried.

"Quick does anyone know mouth to mouth?" Yugi asked.

"I do" Joey said proudly.

"Joey you have to save my brother!" Mokuba squealed.

"What!" Joey exclaimed, "No way am I swappin' saliva wit moneybags!".

"Joey please!" Mokuba begged "If you don't I'll be completely alone!" and with that he collapsed on the floor sobbing.

"Oh for gods sake" Joey sighed and sank to the floor next to Seto.

Pulling a face he leaned down to blow air back into his worst enemies lungs. After several attempts Seto managed to start breathing on his own again. Gasping for air he slowly regained consciousness.

"Wha…what happened" He stammered, squinting up at the group.

Sobbing loudly Mokuba flung himself at his brother and hugged him tightly, "Oh Seto I thought I'd lost you" he cried "we came down and you'd drowned in that bowl of ice cream".

Tristan and Marik couldn't help sniggering at this, Yami Bakura would have joined in but he was still upstairs in his sleeping bag trying to chew through about thirty layers of Selotape.

"If I drowned how am I still alive?" Seto asked his distressed brother.

"Joey brought you back" Mokuba told him.

"What! How?" Seto asked worriedly.

"Uh…he gave you mouth to mouth" Mokuba replied laughing nervously as Seto's face paled.

Heaving, Seto ran to the nearest bathroom and threw up violently in the toilet.

"You're welcome by da way" Joey said sarcastically, coming up behind Seto as he began furiously brushing his teeth.

"Get away from me Wheeler, I can't look at you right now" Seto snapped shivering and picking up a bottle of mouthwash.


	3. Chapter 3

When Seto and Joey came back to the kitchen Mokuba asked his brother if they could make dinner.

"Can't you just order a pizza or something?" Seto said, collapsing into a chair and pulling the bowl of strawberry ice cream towards him.

"Oh come on Seto please, it'll be more fun if we make it ourselves" Mokuba pleaded, smiling as sweetly as possible.

"Fine" Seto sighed, raising a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth "But I'm staying here to make sure you and Wheeler don't blow anything up".

So, while Seto finished off the bowl of ice cream that nearly cost him his life, Mokuba and the others got out the ingredients needed to make their own pizzas. Twenty minutes later the bases were shaped and everyone was covered in flour.

"Oh pooh!" Bakura said suddenly, causing Joey to stab Tristan with the knife he'd been playing with "I forgot to untie my Yami, I'd better go and get him".

Stepping over Tristan's bleeding body, he went to release the psychotic bunny rabbit.

Tea quickly helped Tristan bandage the gaping wound in his arm and took him up to the hospital.

Once they'd gone the others got back to the food. Mokuba was laying out the choice of toppings when the two Bakura's came back down, Yami Bakura with a thick red line across his mouth where Bakura had ripped the Selotape off.

"Ooh pizza!" Yami Bakura cried, perking up immediately "I love pizza!".

"Calm down" Bakura instructed "You can use Tristan's base, I don't think he needs it anymore".

Another twenty to thirty minutes later everyone had added their toppings and the pizzas were cooking in the ovens (the Kaiba's have a very big and expensive kitchen). The pizzas had been in for about two minutes when a small but frantic tapping sound was heard coming from one of the ovens.

Confused, Tea (who came back a little while ago after dropping Tristan off at home) walked over and peered through the door. Screaming she quickly turned it off and wrenched it open.

Yugi tumbled out, bright red and gasping for air.

"Yugi what on earth were you doing in the oven?" Tea asked worriedly.

All Yugi could do in response was whimper and shake. Turning to the group Tea asked them angrily who had put him in there.

No one said anything but the answer became apparent when Yami Bakura started whistling and looking at the ceiling.

By the time Bakura had finished beating him with a rolling pin the pizzas were done. Satisfied that his kitchen was safe Seto stood up and relocated to his study upstairs.

Everyone agreed that the pizza's tasted horrible.

"It tastes almost like…coffee" Joey said, looking confused.

"But why would there have been coffee in any of the stuff we used?" Mokuba asked, glancing at Yami Bakura.

"Hey, it wasn't me this time!" he protested sulkily.

"Ok, who put coffee in the pizzas?" Tea demanded.

"Uhh…I may have…accidentally, um, spilled a jar of coffee over the tomato paste" Yami said quietly "I was hoping no one would be able to taste it".

"Well, if you did it by accident I suppose we shouldn't be angry" Mokuba sighed "You should have told us though".

"I'm sorry" Yami said miserably. After everyone had assured him that he was forgiven they went back up to Mokuba's room.

After fifteen minutes of small talk Marik's eyes flew wide open as though he'd just been given an electric shock.

"Oh Ra! Where's Scuzbucket" he yelled, his voice shrill and girly.

Everyone looked around shrugging and then, as one, turned to face the open bedroom door.

"For god's sake who keeps leaving that open" Mokuba grumbled as he got up and stuck his head out into the hallway.

_I can't believe these dweebs are roaming free in my house_ Seto thought miserably as he walked down the corridor on the third floor _Damn Mokuba and those puppy dog eyes_.

Letting out an unhappy sigh he turned to descend the wide staircase to the second floor. He made it down a few steps then stopped dead. Below him he could see Marik and Tea wandering past holding tins and banging them with spoons.

_What the hell! _He thought as he folded his arms _Hm, must be some kind of bizarre dweeb mating ritual_. Shaking his head he turned to go back upstairs, not wanting to get involved in any way.

Again he stopped after only a few steps. This time because Scuzbucket was sitting at the top of the staircase. Unfortunately for Seto, his head was at the same level as the cat and Scuzbucket could sense the same energy coming from him as he did from Yami.

Scuzbucket liked this energy.

It conjured vague memories of a time when cats were more than just pets. He had to get closer!

Purring loudly he leaped from the top of the staircase and landed on Seto's head, anchoring himself firmly. Too shocked and swollen to make any sound Seto lost his balance and fell backwards down the stairs.

Once all the tumbling had stopped Scuzbucket picked himself up and stretched. Yawning, he wandered calmly away from the crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs.

Now that the human was unconscious the energy had faded and Scuzbucket was bored again.

"It's no good, I don't think he's on this floor anymore" Tea sighed, lowering her tin and spoon.

Marik looked at her, his eyes big and shiny, then he started to cry. "W…we're n…never going t…to find him" he sobbed, collapsing onto the floor.

"Oh, don't be silly Marik of course we'll find him. If we stick together there's nothing we can't do!" Tea said cheerfully, patting Marik on the back.

He looked up at her for a second then started crying louder.

"Right, the only place we haven't looked now is the Attic" Mokuba said, pointing to a door at the end of the third floor corridor. The door was slightly agar.

"Uh, ok, you first little fella" Joey said, moving behind Mokuba.

The others all looked a little apprehensive too.

They had regrouped on the top floor after a thorough search of the house and were now preparing to search the final area. (They have been using the lift so Seto is still undiscovered).

Shaking his head at Joey's cowardice Mokuba led the way. The stairs up to the attic were old and squeaky. The attic itself was a long dark room running the length of the house. The walls and ceiling were smothered in cobwebs and the entire room was filled with boxes.

They split up into smaller groups to cover more ground. Calls of "Scuzbucket, here boy" rang out for several minutes until someone pointed out that it would only confuse him being called from all corners of the attic at the same time.

"Stupid flippin' cat" Joey muttered to himself as he climbed around boxes.

Squeezing past a particularly big one he put his hand on something firm and furry next to him. Looking down he stared into the bright green eyes of a cat.

"Hey guys!" he yelled "I found im". Looking down again he noticed that the cat hadn't moved an inch, even when he yelled.

Leaning closer he noticed that it was a tabby.

_Dat ain't right _He thought. Bending down he picked it up. It was as stiff as a board. He quickly dropped it again.

"Uh, guys, forget it, it wasn't da right cat" he called round the box.

_Oh my poor baby, where are you? _Marik thought miserably as he shifted another box out of his way.

Suddenly he noticed something black and furry perched on the beam running along the wall in front of him.

"Scuzbucket!" he yelled happily as he scooped the furry thing up in his arms. Looking down at his darling cat his face froze.

It wasn't Scuzbucket.

It was a very large bat.

Shrieking like a little girl he threw it in the air. It flew up into the rafters and seconds later a swarm of bats descended on the group.


	4. Chapter 4

Opening his eyes slowly the first thing Seto noticed was the excruciating pain.

His back felt like it had red hot needles all up the length of it and he couldn't feel his legs.

Moving very slowly, pain shooting up his obviously broken arm, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his mobile phone.

He got as far as dialling 911, as he pressed the call button his battery went flat.

Growling in frustration he threw his phone at the wall. He immediately regretted this as the bones in his arm shifted. Biting his lip to distract him from the feeling of his splintered bones crunching against one another he flipped himself over onto his front.

Squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his teeth, he started to drag himself like a worm towards the nearest phone.

It took the group less than thirty seconds to run all the way back to Mokuba's room and slam the door shut. Marik whimpered and Tea clung to Yami as they heard the bats slam into the door.

Once they had all regained their breath Joey did a head count. "One, two three, four, five, six, seven…hey where's dat demented Yami of yours" he said, frowning at Bakura.

Groaning, Bakura walked back over to the door and opened it a crack.

His Yami was standing in the middle of the hall wearing a jacket made entirely of live bats and appeared to be conversing with them.

"He's fine" he sighed, going to shut the door again.

Before he could, a small black cat strolled through the crack and jumped up onto the bed.

"SCUZBUCKET" Marik cried, his eyes filling up with happy tears as he scooped up his precious cat.

"I swear dat guy cries too much to be straight" Joey muttered to Yami.

"Indeed" the pharaoh replied, raising one eyebrow at the sobbing tomb keeper.

"Shit" Seto said flatly as he stared up at the phone on the kitchen unit.

It had taken him forty five minutes to crawl to the elevator then crawl to the kitchen. And now he had reached his destination he found he couldn't lift himself more than two inches off the floor, no where near high enough to reach the phone. (The elevator is voice activated in case you were wondering).

Suddenly his eyes lit up as he spotted the phone cable trailing over the edge of the unit.

He reached out a shaky arm and tugged on it as hard as he could. After a few attempts it finally tipped over the edge.

And landed on his head.

"Ow" he said, his voice still as flat as a racoon on an American highway.

Shaking his head to bring his eyes back into focus he dialled 911.

"Hello, emergency services, how can I help you?" a chirpy female voice asked him.

"I need an amb…" he managed to get out before the line went dead.

He just stared blankly at the useless lump of plastic in his hand.

"Wow, that's quite a storm out there" Mokuba remarked, staring out the window into the pouring rain "I hope it doesn't knock the phone lines out again, that's happened twice in the last month alone".

"I don't like storms, they frighten me" Yugi whimpered.

"Oh don't be scared, here I'll protect you" Tea cooed, wrapping her arms around him.

"Oh for Ra's sake don't be such a wimAAARGH" Yami screamed as a sudden crash of thunder startled Scuzbucket, causing him to jump on and cling to the nearest object, Yami's face.

Grabbing him by the scruff he wrenched him off, leaving a trail of scratches along his cheeks that made him look like he had whiskers.

"Oh no! My beautiful face" he cried, diving across the room and digging through Tea's bag to find a mirror and inspect the damage.

"Who wants t' play truth or dare?" Joey asked suddenly. Everyone nodded enthusiastically. "Ok, I'll go first since it was my idea, uhhh…Tea, truth or dare?" Joey grinned.

"Hm, truth" she replied, stroking Yugi's head, which was still buried in her chest.

"Ok, do ya shave your ladybush?" Joey asked, his grin widening evilly.

"Joey! You pervert!" she gasped, her cheeks reddening in outrage (and a little bit because of Yugi).

"Well, do ya?" he persisted.

"Hn, of course I do, I have to wear leotards all the time because of my dancing, I'm hardly going to walk around sporting stray fur am I!" she blurted out, her face shining like a beacon. Taking a deep breath to regain her composure she turned to Yami. "Truth or dare?"

"Hang on" Yami Bakura interrupted "Let's make this a little more interesting shall we?".

Smirking evilly he pulled the millennium scales from his bag. "Now we **have** to tell the truth!" he declared, giggling psychotically.

"Well?" Tea prompted, turning back to Yami.

"Uh, dare" he said hesitantly, eyeing the scales.

"Hmm, dare, let me think" Tea mused, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Slowly, a mischievous smile spread across her face. "Take all your clothes off and leave them off till the end of the game" she purred.

"What! NO!" he cried, his eyes widening in horror.

"Then you lose" Tea shrugged.

"Wha…no, I …I can't …I…" a look of pure agony rippled across his face, "fine, I'll do it" he whispered, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

Speaking of agony and defeat…

Seto winced as a new pain joined the orchestra of torture that was playing throughout his body.

_I can't take much more of this_ he thought desperately _please, please just let me die_.

Wearily he let his eyes drift out of focus and his mind wander freely. Suddenly the pain started to fade and his vision started to grow misty and dark. _Ah, sweet oblivion_ he thought contentedly as the room faded away…only to snap back into focus as an entirely new one.

"What the.." he exclaimed as he found himself suddenly standing in the middle of a large room decorated in gold and silver.

Blinking, he looked around and saw that he was standing in front of a solid marble desk. Behind the desk was a man with perfectly gelled hair and a long flowing white robe.

"Where the hell am I?" he demanded, advancing on the man behind the desk.

"This is the check in station" he replied, smiling in a very irritating way.

"Explain" Seto snapped, folding his arms and frowning.

"Well, I'm awfully sorry to have to tell you this but you died and now you have to be judged, then placed in a suitable afterlife" the robed man said, an expression of supreme pity and kindness on his face, further annoying Seto.

"Don't be ridiculous" he sneered.

"How else do you explain what just happened" was the patient reply.

Seto blinked again then lowered his folded arms. "Oh dear god…" he rasped, his throat going completely dry.

His companion just continued to smile.


	5. Chapter 5

"Uh, Marik, Truth or Dare?" Bakura asked, the game having been going for a fair while now.

"Hmmm, truth" he replied, smiling brightly.

"Ok, uh, what's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?" Bakura asked, smiling slightly and holding the millennium scales between himself and Marik.

"Oh crud" Marik whimpered "uh…uh, um, I … I suppose, the time I got really, really drunk and tried to seduce Ishizu … then urinated on her".

The group shuddered as one.

"Now it's my turn, my turn!" Marik cried, his excitement not unlike that of a five year old. "Yami Bakura!" he grinned, pointing at the tomb robber for dramatic effect "I choose you! Truth or dare?", he then giggled like a seven year old girl.

"Ooookay, what happened to Marik in the last twenty seconds, he's gone all weird?" Tea observed quietly to Yami.

"Ra knows, he's a pretty messed up guy, it could be any one of his mental disorders acting up" Yami shrugged.

"DARE!" Yami Bakura yelled, jumping to his feet in anticipation.

"Go and find all seven Dragonballs!" Marik challenged.

"Right you are, be back in a jiffy" Yami Bakura said cheerfully before running out the door to god knows where.

"What the heck are Dragonballs!" Yami demanded.

He went unanswered.

"What's wrong buddy" Joey asked Bakura, noticing that the Brit looked anxious.

Looking up at Joey he sighed deeply then shook his head, "It's never a good sign when he starts saying jiffy…".

"Oh come on" Seto reasoned "I know I was pretty badly hurt but I don't think it was enough to kill me!".

"Actually, the fall didn't kill you" robe guy smiled.

"Then what did?" Seto asked, his face creasing into a confused frown.

"Well you remember the incident last week with your brother's hamster?" the emissary asked.

"Yes, what on Earth has that got to do with this?" Seto snapped, unconsciously fiddling with his bandaged finger.

"Unfortunately the hamster was carrying a rather nasty bacteria, it got into your blood stream when it bit you and, with your body weakened from the fall, it managed to get a strong enough hold to stop your heart" he concluded.

"Wha…you're telling me that that f$!#g hamster killed me?" Seto thundered, grabbing the front of the smiling gimps robes.

"I'm afraid so" he sighed, acting as though Seto wasn't snarling two inches from his face and cutting off his air with his own robes.

Growling, Seto threw the other guy away from him and started to pace around the room. "Is there anything I can do?" he demanded.

"Well, you can go back if you manage to perform one totally selfless deed within the next twelve hours" the envoy replied, straightening his robes.

The look on Seto's face clearly showed that he knew he was doomed.

Humming Thriller under his breath Yami Bakura skipped up to a phone box. Flicking through the phone book he stopped on B and scanned down to Briefs, Dr B. After putting his fist through the bottom of the phone he caught one of the quarters that fell out and put it back in the machine.

Someone picked up after the fourth ring.

"Hello, Briefs residence, how can I help you?" a woman's voice asked.

"I'm looking for Bulma Briefs, is that you?" Yami Bakura asked, for once attempting to be polite.

"Yes, that's me, who am I speaking to?" she replied.

"Uh, my name is…" he quickly looked around for inspiration "Cathouse Carsky" he finished lamely.

"Ok, and what is it you want?" she asked, eager to get rid of this nutcase.

After a lengthy pause he stopped chewing on the phone cord and finally got to the point, "I need to borrow your Dragonball finder thingy".

"Anyone up for a game of snap 'til Mr Crazy comes back?" Joey asked, looking around at the group eagerly.

They all looked at each other and mumbled their agreement. There wasn't much else they could do, the game couldn't continue until Yami Bakura came back.

"He'd better not be long dammit" Yami muttered to himself, his knees huddled up under his chin to hide his manhood.

"Hey Mokuba, where's your bathroom?" Marik asked twenty minutes later.

"Down the hall, third door on your left" he replied.

Smiling his thanks Marik got up and scurried off to empty his bowel.

Growling softly, Seto glared at the wall opposite him and tried to think of someway out of this situation while at the same time plotting how to destroy the entire hamster race.

The robed guy had left him alone in the waiting room. He'd said that all Seto had to do to go back down to Earth was think it, but he wouldn't be able to go near anyone he had known in life.

Sighing, Seto closed his eyes and thought about going back to Earth…and materialized above a duck pond in Domino central park.

Spluttering and cursing he dragged himself out of the pond, taking the time to kick a duck that was in his way.

Wincing, Marik pulled his pants back up and flushed the toilet.

"Ra curse these infernal piles" he muttered darkly as he washed his hands.

Sighing resignedly he turned the lock on the door and pulled, only to find that the door wouldn't budge.

Frowning, he turned the lock the other way and pulled again, still nothing. Bending down, he examined it carefully.

"I don't get it" he said to himself "It's a simple enough lock, why won't it open?".

He tried jiggling it, then banging it, he even tried soaping it but the door still wouldn't open.

Groaning at the thought of his impending humiliation he took a deep breath.

"Help! I'm stuck in the bathroom! Help!" he yelled.

Waiting a few minutes he tried again.

"Why is no one coming to help me?" he whimpered after he once again got no reply.

Wrapping his arms around himself he slid down the wall till he was sitting on the floor.

Dark memories of his youth were flashing through his mind. Memories of being trapped in small dark rooms, deep underground.

While the Kaiba's bathroom wasn't tiny, it wasn't huge either.

Closing his eyes he forced himself to think of open fields and cool fresh air.


End file.
